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Archive for July, 2012|Monthly archive page

The Rime of the Traded Mariner

In Baseball, Long form on July 28, 2012 at 9:01 pm

After 10 years as the face of the Seattle Mariners, Ichiro Suzuki became the latest “Mr. Mariner” to leave King County before the end of his career. The Yankees sent to minor league pitchers to Seattle to acquire the right fielder July 23.

Few ballplayers have been able to call themselves “Mariners for Life.” In fact, Seattle has had more baseball talent pass through its clubhouse than it has had players who have stayed for a career. Ken Griffey, Jr. bolted the franchise for a six-figure contract with his hometown Cincinnati Reds. Randy Johnson departed in a trade with the Houston Astros. Alex Rodriguez spurned Seattle to sign the then-largest contract in baseball history. Of the players in the Mariners Hall of Fame, only Edgar Martínez started and ended his career in Seattle. The list of great ex-Mariners gained another name July 23 when Ichiro Suzuki was sent to the New York Yankees for two minor league pitchers. Seattle has had its share of baseball talent — it just doesn’t stick around for long. Read the rest of this entry »


Chris Carpenter

In Baseball, Long form on July 19, 2012 at 12:48 am

The St. Louis Cardinals again will have to defend their World Series championship without Chris Carpenter after persistent shoulder soreness forced the ace right hander to miss his fourth full season in the last decade.

Chris Carpenter hates to lose. It bothers him. It gnaws at him. It pisses him off. When an opposing batter turns on a mistake pitch and launches it out of the park, even the fans in the upper deck can hear Carpenter’s cursing. Losing is for lesser pitchers, for weaker pitchers. It isn’t what 10-year veterans with 20-win seasons and Cy Young awards do. That’s what makes Carpenter’s 2012 season so frustrating. He hasn’t yet taken a loss, but he’s already been defeated — by his own body. On July 3, the St. Louis Cardinals decided to shut down Carpenter’s rehab, ending his season before he threw a pitch. Another year squandered. Another long off-season. Read the rest of this entry »

Mad Libs Madness

In Baseball on July 11, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Mark Judge recently wrote a column declaring Nationals rookie sensation Bryce Harper a conservative hero. With the power of Mad Libs, Crim Del Harris makes its own attempt to shoehorn an athlete into a political debate.

_______________ (white baseball player) is a _______________’s (political party) hero. The star _______________ (how long he’s been playing baseball) for the _______________ (team) has woken up Major League Baseball, and watching what has followed unfold has reminded me of nothing so much as the collapse of the old political paradigms and the inevitable and upcoming rebirth of _______________ s(political party) in November. Read the rest of this entry »


In Culture on July 6, 2012 at 12:09 pm

We tend to be critical of sports on this site. But the Fourth of July reminds us that we, as Americans, have so much to be thankful for. There are so many reasons to be grateful as an American sports fan in 2012. Here are some of ours:

-Because the United States has a player in Clint Dempsey that can do stuff like this, or this. Every so often, an angry voice from the archaic past will try to restart the argument that soccer will never catch on in this country. Dempsey’s poetic fury on the international stage proves soccer is already here. And that Americans are not only industrious — they can also be beautiful.

– Because sites like Deadspin and KSK and writers like Spencer Hall and, God help me, Bill Simmons prove that there is no one way to write about sports. Not every game is a tragedy; not every opinion has to be a “take.” American sports writing is wittier and sharper than it was when we were kids, and that is a good thing. Read the rest of this entry »

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