Debating William & Mary, sports and culture since 2011. Updated every Wednesday.

CDH Super Bowl Extravaganza Pt. II 1/2

In Football on February 3, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Part II 1/2 of our Crim Del Harris Super Bowl Extravaganza. Check out Part I here, and then read Part II here. We have top men working on Part III. Top. Men.

[Somewhere, off the coast of Amity Island…]

HOOPER: You played at Indianapolis?
CHIEF BRODY: What happened?
QUINT: New England offense slammed two tight ends into our end zone, Chief. We was comin’ off a high in San Francisco…just won the conference championship. NFC championship. Patriots were 3.5-point favorites. Giants don’t score in the first 12 minutes.

Didn’t see the first score for about a half a quarter. Welker. Wide receiver. You know how you know that when you’re watching the game, Chief? You tell by looking at the numbers on the jersey.

What we didn’t know was our playoff run had been so unexpected, no game plan had been prepared. They didn’t even tell Eli for a week.

Very first snap, Chief, Patriots come rushin’, so we formed ourselves into a 3-4 defense. You know, it was kinda like old formations in the game like you see in the calendar named “The 1958 NFL Championship Game” and the idea was: running back comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and tacklin’ and sometimes the Patriot will get stopped…but sometimes he wouldn’t get stopped. Sometimes that Patriot he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a Patriot…he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t seem to be livin’…until he jukes ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then…ah, then you see that terrible smug look from Brady. The scoreboard lights up, and despite all the poundin’ and the tacklin’, they all come in and they…rush you to pieces.

You know by the end of that first quarter, we got outrushed by a hundred yards. I don’t know how many sacks, maybe a thousand. I know how many yards: they averaged six a carry.

At the second half, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Victor Cruz from Massachusetts. Wide receiver. CAA standout. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He wobbled back and forth on the bench just like a kinda pendulum. Fell over. Well, he’d been concussed just before the second quarter.

Halftime, Mr. Hooper, Tom Coughlin finally saw the holes in the Pats defense. He switched his scheme up and he saw them…he was an old coach, a lot older than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw the holes and he calls for it deep and three minutes later a big fat flea flicker comes up and starts to pick us up and we go ahead.

You know that was the time I was most frightened…waitin’ for Brady to stage a comeback. I’ll never bet on a Super Bowl again.

So, Patriots were 3.5-point favorites; Patriots only scored 17 and the Giants scored the other 24, February the 5th, 2012. Anyway, we won the Super Bowl.

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  1. […] Crim Del Harris concludes its three part Super Bowl Extravaganza with a journey deep into the human psyche, where the lines between man and Manning vanish and football civilization recedes with every chop block. Read part I here, part II here and part II 1/2 here… […]

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